Need You Now
by Nattou
Summary: She wanted to slap him, wanted to yell and scream at him for being stupid, and she wanted his arms around her and his voice to tell her it would be ok. Actions have consequences, and their little 'slip' could potentially bring more than a little awkwardness. My take on how they might have gotten back together again. Set after the 100th episode. Ezria Oneshot.


**Need You Now**

**AN: **Soooo, as usual it's taken me forever to finish a oneshot. This story takes place sometime after the 100th episode. Thanks to Lucy for putting the idea in my head.

**Summary: **_She wanted to slap him, wanted to yell and scream at him for being stupid, and she wanted his arms around her and his voice to tell her it would be ok. Actions have consequences, and their little 'slip' could potentially bring more than a little awkwardness. _

_*PLL*_

It was late in the afternoon when Ezra sat down in front of his laptop with a blank word document showing on the screen. What he had told Spencer the week before had been the truth. The book about Ali was something he had fallen into; it had just happened, figuring out the mystery had become an obsession that overshadowed the story he had planned on writing before he found out about her disappearance. If he was going to set things straight in his life again and be the person people had thought he was, it was about time he started the story he originally wanted to tell. Alison was no longer a mystery, A was, but he knew full well that A would not tolerate any more writing on his part. He had experienced firsthand just how dangerous A could be, and knew that he was lucky it had taken so long for A to realize what he was up to. It was a mystery that needed to be solved, but not in a book, not for someone else's enjoyment and entertainment. A meant business and if there was one thing Ezra Fitz was sure about it was that he would not deliberately put those girls in danger; especially not Aria. He wanted to protect her; shield her from A's terror the best he could. She had been through more than enough as it was, all the girls had, but it was Aria that held a piece of his heart, it was her he'd risked his life for. He would never have been able to forgive himself if she had gotten hurt and he hadn't even tried to protect her. It hadn't mattered that she had hated him, he loved her, and she needed to know that. Taking a bullet had been the smartest, and one of the most stupid things he had done to date, but he looked past the stupidity because it had brought Aria back into his life. He had been so sure he had lost her; that he would never again see her sitting on his couch reading, or making coffee in his kitchen. He never thought he would get to touch her smooth skin again, but he had. She didn't flinch when he reached for her anymore, and on a good day she even reached for him. They weren't together, but they were something, and at the moment that was enough. He had her in his life and as much as he wanted things to go back to the way they once were, he was willing to give her all the time she needed to heal. For now it was enough that she came to him willingly, that she admitted she missed him too and that he was slowly gaining back her trust. He knew that what he had broken between them would probably never be the same, but if it could be something, he would gladly spend forever patching up the holes that wouldn't close.

Taking a deep breath he glanced down at the blank document before him. He knew the story he wanted to write, but unlike the story about Ali, he couldn't seem to find the right words to write it with. It was the same problem he had had the first time he had attempted to write it down. The words wouldn't come. They were stuck somewhere between his head and his fingers and he didn't know how to shake them loose.

Frustrated he rubbed his face with the palms of his hands before leaning back in his desk chair with a groan. That's when he heard the distinct sound of heels clicking against the floor in the hallway. It sounded almost like someone was pacing out there. Furrowing his brow he listened intently as the clicking sound continued to sneak into his apartment. He wasn't sure how long he sat there listening, but he nearly jumped when there was a timid knock on his door.

Aria.

It had to be Aria.

By the time he reached the door it sounded like she was pacing again, something which made him frown. Aria only paced when she was worked up about something. Quickly unlocking the door he swung it open and looked out into the hallway. Aria was already halfway to the stairs and didn't seem to have noticed that his door had opened.

"Aria?" he said gently and watched as she spun around to look at him, her eyes wide and worried. She seemed frozen in place and he felt his own worry starting to build.

"Come on inside?"

She didn't reply. Instead he watched as her eyes started to shimmer with tears. That was all it took for him to leave his place in the doorway and walk over to her. Before she had any chance to protest he had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his body. She sniffled against his shirt and on pure instinct he kissed the top of her head lovingly.

"Let's go inside, Aria."

He felt her nod and proceeded to gently guide her into the apartment, only letting go so that he could close the door again.

*PLL*

The sound of the deadbolt seemed to echo in Aria's head as she desperately tried to calm herself down. She could hardly recognize the person she had turned into the past couple of hours. Normally she did what she had to do whether she wanted to or not. She didn't back down from confrontations and she sought the truth even when she was scared of what that truth meant. She had asked her dad if he had hurt Alison, and when the girls had thought Ezra had been A… Aria shuddered. That night was still painful to think about, but she had needed to know the truth, but somehow today she couldn't do it. She had tried, several times, but had ended up backing out every time. She hadn't been able to do it alone.

"Aria?"

"Hmm?"

"What happened? Did A do something?"

"No."

Probably only a matter of time, though, she thought as he walked past her.

"Then what happened? Talk to me."

He stood in front of her with one of the most genuinely concerned expressions she had ever seen and she felt the tears return. Tears of fear, of love; tears of hurt and of everything she wanted back.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. It wasn't how she had planned on this moment being way back when she had started toying around with the idea of Ezra being her forever. Nothing had gone to plan. Not even their break up; or lack thereof. They seemed to be stuck in a state of in between.

He took her hands in his, making her jump, she was too lost in her own thoughts to notice his movement until she felt it.

"Aria, what's going on? You're starting to scare me. Did something happen at home?"

At home, she thought. Yeah, something had happened at home, but it didn't involve anyone but herself.

_The little black book on her lap seemed to be mocking her as she sat on her bed trying to find the courage to open it. The thought had haunted her ever since Spencer had complained about cramps ruining her appetite at lunch. Usually her and Spencer's cycles were a few days apart, with Aria starting first. _

_She was late. _

_She didn't need the calendar book to tell her that. She needed it to tell her just _how _late she was, and if she need to panic. _

_The night she had spent with Ezra had been filled with so many pent up emotions and a sense of desperation she had never felt before, and she honestly couldn't clearly recall of they had used protection or not. She thought they had, but the more she thought about it, the more she doubted her own memory. She was still on the pill, but she knew that nothing provided 100 percent protection. _

_Taking a deep breath she picked up the book. If she was old enough to have sex she had to be old enough to deal with the consequences whether she wanted to or not. Her fingers shook as she turned the pages until she found the previous month, and as she started counting, the lump in her throat grew with every day she ticked off, and when she got to the current date tears were blurring her vision. _

_She was more than a week late. _

_Before she knew what she was doing she had slammed the book closed and tossed it clear across the room; her heart beating rapidly in her chest. _

_The sudden burst of anger was gone as fast as it had come and in its place was a fear that made her lip quiver. _

_She wasn't ready to be a mom. She wasn't ready to bring a human being that she was responsible for into the world. How was she supposed to make the best choices for a child when she clearly couldn't even make the right ones for herself? Ezra had hurt her more than anyone else had, but he also made her feel better than anyone ever had. Every bad memory had blurred when she had seen that scar. All she had felt was gratitude for what he had done, for the fact that he was still alive, and guilt for being the reason he had gotten hurt. The desire and longing for everything they had once shared had hit her hard and she had been powerless to stop it. _

_She should have fought it. If she had she wouldn't be in this situation. If she had there would be no panic, just annoyance at her body for being so unpredictable. But she hadn't fought it. She had given in. _

_She felt torn in every direction as she slumped down on the floor and cried. She wanted to slap him, wanted to yell and scream at him for being stupid, and she wanted his arms around her and his voice to tell her it would be ok. She wanted to forget the pain he had caused…she wanted the past they had had. _

_Her mind was a knot of emotions she didn't know how to untie, and with every heartbeat the strings seemed to tighten. She was at a complete loss of what to do, so she cried. _

It had taken her over an hour to compose herself and make her was into her bathroom where she knew her mom had put a pregnancy test once she realized she was sleeping with Ezra. Another hour had been spent looking at the small box. She knew the instructions by heart but hadn't been able to open it up and actually take the test. She had picked up her phone, ready to call her mom, or Spencer, but she never went through with it. Deep inside she had known that there was only one person she should be with and so she had ended up in his apartment. She had made it there, but now that she was, she couldn't seem to find the words to say what needed to be said.

How was she supposed to tell him that their already complicated relationship was possibly about to get even more complicated? If she was, would his mom try to pay her off too? And the town, the people in town already frowned upon their relationship, what would they say now?

The only thing she was sure of was that he would stick by her. She had watched him do everything for Malcolm when he thought he was his son, and he had been heartbroken when he learned that he wasn't. There was no way he would leave her. He was already doing everything he could think of to make her forgive him.

Taking a shaky breath she lifted her eyes to look at him. Her heart beat so fast she was sure he could hear it with every breath she took, but that really was the least of her worries.

"Ezra, I'm late," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

*PLL*

Everything around him seemed to come to a halt as the words she had breathed out registered in his mind. Of all the things he expected her to say, that wasn't it. Part of him wanted to play stupid, wanted to ask what she was late for, but he knew exactly what she was referring to.

She was scared she was pregnant.

As he tried to calm his racing heart he looked down at her, the girl who had crawled into his heart all those months ago and left footprints so deep they could never be washed away. She was one of the strongest people he knew, but now she looked petrified. Worry was etched on her face and her eyes seemed to focus on a spot on his shirt. He could feel her hands tremble against his own and quickly ran his thumb across them in a soothing manner.

"How late?" he asked gently.

She took a shaky breath before answering. "Almost a week and a half."

Her lip trembled and he felt his heart break.

She was so scared.

Unsure of what else to do he stepped closer and pulled her against his chest once more.

"Shh," he whispered against her hair as a hundred thoughts raced through his head.

"It'll be ok, ok? It'll be ok." The words tumbled out of his mouth in a desperate attempt to comfort her. The truth was that he had no idea if anything would be ok. He didn't even know where their relationship stood. He only knew that he would do anything within his power to make sure he gave her anything she needed.

"Did you take a test?" he asked quietly.

"No…I… I couldn't."

Ezra took a deep breath as he ran a comforting hand down her back.

"Do you have one? Do I…Do I need to go get one?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, what?"

"I have one… I just… I wasn't brave enough."

"It's ok to be scared, Aria, I am too, but we can be brave together, ok? You're not alone; you don't have to do it alone."

*PLL*

The white plastic object lay face down on the table in front of them as Ezra's kitchen timer counted down the three minutes needed for the results to show. Aria was tucked into Ezra's side, her body tense as she focused on the ticking of the timer.

Every now and then she could feel Ezra press his lips against the top of her head, or gently stroke her upper arm. She had no idea what was going on in his mind at the moment, the second she had let him know what was going on he had focused on her. He had held her until her tears subsided, whispered all the right words and been supportive without suffocating her. Never in her life had she been more thankful for the fact that her boyfriend was older and more mature.

Aria froze.

Boyfriend.

He wasn't her boyfriend anymore, was he? She blinked rapidly to force the tears away. She wanted him to be. She wanted to forget the past and start over. When it was just the two of them it was so easy to slip into old habits, to forget all the reasons why she shouldn't. When he was touching her like she was the most precious thing around, or holding her close it was really hard to remember that he had the capability to break her in ways no one else ever had.

It was a lot easier to remember their love.

"Ezra?" she asked quietly.

"Hmm?"

"What happens if it's positive?"

Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she waited for him to respond. Deep down she knew what he would say, but she needed to hear the words out loud.

He shifted slightly beside her and one hand rose to gently make her look at him.

"I don't know," he said sincerely, his eyes showing nothing but love and comfort. "But we'll figure it out. Together. I know you probably feel alone, but you're not, and nothing anyone says or does will make me leave you, ok?"

Aria merely nodded as a lone tear escaped her eye. He might have lied to her about a lot of things since she met him, but she knew that he loved her. She didn't want to admit it too herself at first, but she knew that he did. And she never wanted him to stop. Despite the past she wanted them. Maybe the others would think she was crazy, but she didn't really care. Spencer had forgiven Toby for playing along with A, and he had fooled her in the cruelest of ways, and he had done so fully aware of how much she was hurting, at least Ezra had never gone out to intentionally hurt her in any way. He had just kept a lot of truths to himself.

She took a shaky breath.

"What happens if it's negative?"

"What do you want to happen if it's negative?" he asked back.

The ball was in her court. He'd respect whatever it was that she said, but she could see the hope in his eyes.

She bit down on her lower lip.

_People do change. _

"I want to take it slow," she said, her eyes focused on a piece of lint on his shirt.

"I don't want to fight it anymore. Fight us. But I need time to learn to trust you."

The relief seemed to radiate of him as he pulled her towards him and placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

"Take all the time you need, Aria. I honestly thought I had lost you forever."

"So did I," she chocked out, suddenly overcome with emotion. "You flat lined in front of my eyes and I couldn't do a thing about it."

"I'm sorr…"

"No, you don't get it!" she exclaimed. "I was furious at you for what you had done, but then…" she took a shaky breath. "They weren't sure if you would be ok and all I couldn't think about was that last conversation we had, how I said I never wanted to see you again. It wasn't true. Right at that moment there was nothing I wanted more than for you to open your eyes…you couldn't die thinking I hated you…"

"Aria…"

"I never hated you; I hated how much I loved you. How much I still love you."

The words hung in the air between them as they looked at each other. His eyes were soft and warm with emotion, reminding her of what had made her fall in love with him in the first place. He had always made her feel like he truly cared.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Aria. I know it's a bad excuse, but after all that time I didn't know how to tell you without losing you, and I losing you was the last thing I ever wanted."

Her eyes bore into his and she could see nothing but honesty within them. He had done a lot of things she never thought she could ever forgive him for, but at the same time he had done things for her that she couldn't even begin to thank him for. He had saved her life in New York, and when she had confessed to having killed Shana he had asked what he could do to help. He was her rock, her one constant; he was there for her no matter what and she had slowly come to accept that fact. Ezra was supposed to be a part of her life; if he wasn't then they would have fallen apart a long, long time ago.

The ringing coming from the kitchen timer made them both jump and Aria suddenly felt sick as she was pulled back into the reality of the situation they were currently in. She bit harshly down on her lip as she looked over at Ezra. He said nothing; instead he reached out and laced their fingers together.

Her hand shook as she carefully picked up the test. It took her a few seconds to find the courage to flip it around to see the results and as she took in the single blue horizontal line she let her head fall down on Ezra's shoulder.

"It's negative," she breathed out. "I'm not pregnant."

The plastic stick that she treated like a piece of precious art a moment ago was suddenly just a piece of plastic and she dropped it back onto the table before falling back against the couch. Relief spread through her body, making her feel light as air, but at the same time there was an empty feeling within her that she hadn't been prepared for. There was no baby growing inside her. She was happy there was no baby; she wasn't ready for that responsibility, but then why did she feel a fraction of disappointment?

"Aria?" Ezra asked quietly after a few moments.

"Yeah?"

"Talk to me," he said gently. "What are you thinking?"

She took a deep breath.

"That I didn't think I'd feel like this."

"Like what?"

"Relieved…yet empty. I don't know how to explain it. It's weird." She averted her eyes.

"I think…" he paused for a second as he searched for the right words. "I think that we subconsciously try so hard to prepare ourselves for what we'd do if there's a baby coming that we get used to the idea. So many things would be different and as we think our way through them we start to accept that fact. I think it's ok to feel empty, Aria. And even if some might say something different, this is what you're feeling, and that's all that matters. No one can tell you how you should be feeling and today has been an emotional rollercoaster."

Aria wasn't aware that she was crying until Ezra pulled her close to his chest for the umpteenth time since she had knocked on the door.

"I love you," she whispered.

He took a deep breath and hugged her a little bit closer.

"I love you too, Aria. I love you too."


End file.
